Directions:

Follow this format as a general guideline. Like all good baking, sometimes we improvise. The goal is to explore self-pleasure and become aware of your body and your sexual response.
 

1) Preheat the Oven: Permission-to start. Set a date with yourself and allow yourself to move into the head-space to have a session of pleasure.

2) Collect your Ingredients:
 

a. Ingredient One: Sacred Space (Choose a safe and sensual place- i.e. bedroom or bathtub)
 

b. Ingredient Two: Fantasy (Using your sexual stimuli of choice, practice tapping into fantasy during self-pleasure and elsewhere- i.e. at work or on the bus!)
 

c. Ingredient Three: Sensual Touch (Tapping into your senses to awaken your erogenous zones)

d. Ingredient Four: Kegels (Use these before and during masturbation; practice developing strength for both stationary and rocking kegels)

e. Ingredient Five: Vocals (Allow yourself to let go with sounds—play with directive instructions to sexy talking to subtle or strong moaning)
 

f. Ingredient Six: Breathing (Move into your breath and play with light and heavy panting)

 

3) Mix the Ingredients: Connection (Allow yourself to come into connection with your body, your fantasies, and your feelings of pleasure.)

4) Bake the Cake: Patience. (Allow yourself to melt into the moment. There is no time limit for how long you can bake. Using all the ingredients above, bake as long or short as needed. Notice distracting thoughts and then come back to the body; flirt with yourself; allow yourself to feel and BE sexy.)

5) Eating the Cake: Permission-to finish. Allow yourself to get “Hot n Heavy”; allow your body move into that involuntary, mouth-watering rhythm and let the orgasm unfold as it will. If orgasm is not reached, that’s ok. This is a “practice of pleasure” to be sensual and eventually BE ORGASMIC.

Developed by:
Jenni Skyler, PhD and Deb Rubin, LCSW (2010) for workshop series: BECOMING ORGASMIC