REGAINING YOUR
SENSUAL RHYTHM
Dear Dr. Jenni,
I’m a breast cancer survivor and had a double mastectomy. I’m working with my therapist on grieving the loss of my old self and the feminine symbolism of my breasts. But I’m also struggling with the loss of sensuality from my breasts. I feel like my sexuality was also robbed. Any thoughts on how I can move forward?
—Seeking Sensuality Post Cancer
Dear Seeking,
How brave of you to survive cancer and a huge surgery. I think you are doing the smartest thing right now by giving yourself permission to grieve.
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When you feel ready, the next step is to reclaim and celebrate your new self. This may take some time as you find a new sensual identity. Start by creating a list of what helps you express your feminine energy. What activities, like dancing, for example, help you access this energy? Are there certain sensual foods or smells or songs? Perhaps take yourself shopping with a close, supportive friend to find new outfits for your wardrobe that express this new, sensual you.
As for bodily sensation, this will also be a journey of rediscovery. Imagine that your body is like a map — a large topographical body map. As all bodies change and age, the erogenous zones on our bodies do as well. By yourself first, and then with a partner if you have one, slowly explore your whole body from head to toe. Try out different types of touch, varying pressure, using nails, kneading, pinching, tickling and tapping. You may find that your breasts do not respond to the same type of arousal as they used to, but you may be surprised with new stimulating finds!
Read more QnA at The Boulder Weekly, Sophisticated SEX column: http://www.boulderweekly.com/articles.sec-123-1-sophisticated-sex.html
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